In this post, Melissa continues on her exploration of the themes in the book "Radical Candor" by Kim Scott....  

One of the most challenging parts of the book Radical Candor is the section on taking care of yourself. As someone who feels most fulfilled when helping others—often to my own detriment—it’s hard to remember that I can only be as good to others as I am to myself. The book reminds us, “You can’t give a damn about others if you don’t give a damn about yourself.” 

During this holiday season, let’s focus on helping others by first taking care of ourselves. This will look different for everyone. For me, it’s sending a morning text to my best friend, recharging with the people I love who bring me peace, and sometimes blasting Backstreet Boys LOUD. Whatever your "thing" is, take the time to make it a priority.

The book also introduces the concept of work-life integration. Let’s pause on that for a moment. We’ve all heard of work-life balance, which encourages us to set strict boundaries: home is home, and work is work. But that approach has never really worked for me. Over the years, I’ve worked with my husband, one of my closest and oldest friends, a brother-in-law, my sister, and more. For me, separating home from work or vice versa has never been an option.

The word integration feels truer to me. Integration is about allowing your work to enrich your life and your life to enrich your work. It’s about showing up as your whole self in both spaces. While this level of openness can be vulnerable, it can also lead to some of the most fulfilling work and relationships you’ll ever have.

Home Life

Kim Scott suggests creating a “recipe” that helps you stay centered—and sticking to it. For example, the book recommends sleeping eight hours a night, exercising 45 minutes a day, and having both breakfast and dinner with your family. Once you’ve found your recipe, aim to follow it more often than not. If you miss a day or two, that’s okay. The key is to have a routine you can return to when life gets stressful. And remember: don’t beat yourself up for missing it. Give yourself grace and try again tomorrow.

Work Life

Bring your whole self—your uniqueness, creativity, passion, fears, and vulnerability—to work. By doing so, you encourage others to do the same. This doesn’t mean oversharing personal details or ignoring boundaries. Boundaries are still essential. For some, work is a refuge—a place to take a break from personal struggles like caring for a sick parent. Caring personally means creating space for others to share what they need while being present and supportive.

A Final Thought

I’ll leave you with this quote:

“The ultimate goal of Radical Candor is to achieve together what you would never achieve alone.”

In the end, no one accomplishes anything alone. So, I invite you to show up as your authentic self and give a damn about both yourself and others. I promise—you won’t regret it.